Probably shouldn't have had that extra coffee

     So we were out tonight and I was tired. I knew I was going to stay up late tonight to pay bills so I had a cup of coffee.... and then another. Now it's almost 1 AM and I'm not tired. *BLEEP* what a night. So after bills, emails, work and some wine... I guess it's blogging time.

     So the interns desk has been a different place since the new clinic moved in. There is now only one entrance/exit for the Risk Communications people because patient confidentiality means they can't walk through the new clinic AT ALL EVER! So that means everyone gets to walk by my desk.

That means they SEE me.

     I suppose this is good and bad. They will believe me when I show them my time sheet now, but It also means more conversation, more visibility of my exhaustion some days (like the other day the baby kept me up all night and I looked seriously rough at work), and I think more guilt on behalf of my supervisors. See I've been hearing comments from them like "Sorry we haven't had time to spend time with you. We told your director we needed self-motivated, hands off people... and well, you see what we mean."

     They don't need to apologize, but I don't need the guilt either because I'm a sensitive person and other peoples guilt makes me feel weird... especially when it suddenly makes me an 'expert' at stuff. I was actually called away from my cubicle the other day to help. My "expertise" was needed in setting up some account or other. Now I'm not saying I didn't LEAP out of my chair, because I did want something new to do (that I didn't make up for myself)... but the thing I was asked to do concerned information that should have already been available to the person who needed it. I guess the communication interdepartmentally could have passed this person by, but I could have sworn they had it. Oh well, anyway... when it was over I think we both felt like the experience was too strong an attempt at making me useful.

     I've been asked a lot about if this internship is 'doing anything for me' lately. To that I can say yes... this IS real world experience. This is the madness that goes on in the lives of paid employees who don't get any extra compensation for suddenly having to move 10 years of office life into a new space. This is real life experience having to figure out what you're supposed to be doing, on your own. This all suits me just fine, because I know it's REAL. Whether I have faith in the next intern... well that I'm not sure about yet. Until then, I can only hope to do my best, get prepared as I see fit and hope I'm doing what I think I'm supposed to be doing.

And for all of it, I actually think it's pretty funny. I'm grateful for my internship and life at the interns desk. It's given me a lot to consider and a lot of information that's changing the way I perceive life and the world around me... and isn't that the point?!

what it feels like to have your department moved