An Argument for Conformity

        It's occurred to me that I've always been a little non-conformist. I really WANTED to be part of the crowd there for a while and would have done just about anything to be a part of it in high school... but it never seemed to work out in my favor. I was awkward, still am.

        So, in not fitting in,  I grew up with this idea that non-conformity is the way to go. "We're free thinkers! Edgy! We're going to change the world." Now that I'm older it's all about raising our kids right in an 'in the box' kind of world. "They're going to stand out. They're going to be someone. They're going to continue on the fight against sameness"

        I have come to realize though, the purpose for bringing life in the world is to extend the species, certainly to prompt change sometimes... but the more 'non conformists' we try to make the more miserable they're going to be. Humans are pack animals hence the word 'clique' when referring to a pack of humans who like to hang together and shut others out. There's the concept of Ingroups and Outgroups... lord help you, you don't want to be in an Outgroup, that just means you deviate from the social norm. You're destined to be lonely unless you find some Marginal folks to hang out with.

      So why the heck am I trying to raise my kids like me or like any of that then? Shouldn't I be packing them off to etiquette boot camp, coaching them on the proper way to diet, and teaching them how to sneak out so they can go hang with their friends?

      I'm starting to see less reasoning for non-conformity. I know plenty of "Normal" people that are magnificent artists, inventors and entrepreneurs that succeed mostly because they do have their packs. Their buddies swoon at anything new they do, people flock to them to revel in their popularity. They have parties, a bit of drama, lots of stories and FUN.

       And all these non-conformists I know. They are some great people. They've been through hell and back (mostly self induced, go figure). They are the salt of the earth and have deep world views and brooding attitudes... and they all spend a ridiculous amount of time either working, thinking, or suffering. But you can't ever get a hold of them, it seems not too many non-conformists can maintain social contact for very long.

        Depending on the nature of conformity the argument is always "you're just doing what they do and what they do is going to kill them. They're hypocrites and sinners, All they do is party and drink and waste their time on useless things. They're altering their bodies and they're mean to anyone who's not like them."

When you put it in it's most generic terms there is no difference between conformity & non-conformity right?

      So if all we have to fear is what's going to kill us then that makes the argument even more moot. Everyone will die, some will die early, some will die old... some will die lonely and some will die surrounded by love. Why make it harder by always trying to survive on the outside?

      Someone please tell me I'm wrong --- mostly just because I can't seem to fit in--- I'd love to justify my position, but I'm pretty sure I'm right and Conformity is the way to go... I guess I'd better go buy a couple of Tiaras and start making my girls into the Jr. homecoming queens they need to be one day in order to fit in.