This is for all the lonely people...

     Facebook is one of those mediums where you really can see all the lonely people and their struggles. We cry out in frustration to that big white wall; scream at the nothing, figuring -surely- others will hear us. I think equally assumed is that no one will respond, or that the responses that do show up will be empty

 -because when you cry out in desperation, all the answers seem empty-

     So often, now that I'm older, I see these cries as merely afflictions of youth. Sure I have my days where I post an angry comment or assertion; huff my frustrations, or squeal my anxieties... but it's far less these days than when I desperately craved companionship... not just of lovers but of friends. Late teens and twenties are just an awful time of expectations vs. reality.

I ask you... the shadows of friends past? or ducks?
you decide!

See, my young friends... those amorous Victorians have lied to us. There is no giggling girlish fancy. There is no Babysitter's Club. The Ya Ya Sisterhood, Steele Magnolias, and iCarly, have all convinced us that we can have the bestest of BFF's. They are plastered across the large and small screens and that's really only something a few achieve. That's why they are such great stories. Really, I think the rest of us (or at least a lot of us) live the Sisyphean life... or that of Sylvia Plath... exiled in harsh loneliness, mostly of our own misunderstandings, trying to reach that peak on that mountain or for some relationship... which doesn't even exist.

     Having suffered depression in my youth, I can tell you this is no call to end your struggles... but to hang on and rethink it (because all you wonderful lonely people are intelligent over-thinkers also, aren't you?!). I will be honest with you and tell you that I only felt peace once I found God... but that is my journey. I had to stop trying to make people fit a piece of my life which they were doomed by human nature to fail in the beginning. In giving up my expectations of who people should be TO me, I found out HOW they really fit in my life. I stopped waiting for them to fulfill my needs, and I just aimed to make myself full: full of life, full of love, full of help... goals, dreams, and faith.

     We suffer what we're taught to some degree. Selfishness prevails in our society still, in that we expect others to fix us, help us, love us... when really we need to do those things for others first (without expectation of return). Sure we find the abusers and users out there sometimes, but with the right combination of faith, strength, and good will... it's possible to overcome that. Just live in good spirit. Sounds easy, but it's a battle.

I get loneliness. It's part of why I've dedicated so much of myself to being there for others on that path. Sometimes you just need that helping hand. And perspective is a really funny thing sometimes... when you realize maybe you missed a hand or two that reached out for you along the way... because we can all be blinded by our pain... and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

     It's funny now that I'm older I realize for all the griping about 30 being old (and how women should forever hover at 29... really?!) I'm so happy to be on this side of things. 30 is beautiful and I have my $#*^ together in a way that it's never been before. Hang on there friends, and lonely people... you never stop struggling, because that's part of life... but it all means so much more when you're older. And if after the end of this blog you still don't get it... I'm here. Call me. I'll give you all the details I left out, and tell you what I know and have experienced.

I've got some great friends... sure, we may all be backwards, dysfunctional, distant, and odd sometimes... but a friend is someone who cares about you (even if they don't quite know how to say so) when you're up in the middle of the night posting your sorrows to your Facebook wall. They're friends when you think you're alone. They're supporting you if you don't know they're there. Friends are things we take for granted because the good people aren't going to make us swoon with heady adventure and camaraderie 100% of the time... they're just going to BE there... like a much needed chair when you can't stand up anymore.

So hang in there, cuz sometimes it's the sentiment when the coffee dates don't work out ;-)