I Made a BIG Mistake

     I seem to not be able to help myself. I'm taking on too much, like a person who's drowning and asking for another glass of water and a couple of weights around the ankle for good measure. I seem to make do by the end, but there are always consequences. I'm doing it for the wrong reasons too... I'm still after this unattainable human thing... approval.

aussitown.gif from re-experienced.wordpress.com

     I have been devouring knowledge... whipping through books like I'll never be able to read again. I just want to KNOW everything.

     I've been trying to FIX everything too. Of course I have my specific view of the world (we all do), I want to right the injustices I see... but I can't FIX everything. Still, I open my mouth and get myself in trouble.

     I have always excelled at saying the wrong thing in the wrong way ;-)

     But my biggest mistake is that I forgot to ask for help. I've been going about all this, ALL wrong.

     I've stated in other blog posts that God has lead me, and he hasn't steered me wrong. He's given me a LOT to do, but I shouldn't be worried about it all so much if it's the direction HE is pointing me. I have neglected to ask for his blessings in the things I'm trying to do (and it's making me regret a few decisions I've made already).

     So this is my public declaration of wrong-doing. I did a stupid thing and I didn't ask for help and I REALLY could use it with as many things as I've added to His to-do list. God I ask for your blessings (for myself and anyone involved with me) with:

* all of my school projects this semester. May the work we do with your blessings reach farther than we anticipated with a greater positive impact.

* all of my personal goals, especially those that deal with the betterment of my family. BIG panicky please on this one, because I've definitely defied my own measurement of my "usable time" on this one.

* my patience. Nuff' said

* my ability to elevate others.  I want to help others grow, not tear them down. Please help me be the catalyst for growth and not some crazy kind of Kali-hell bringer.  

* motherhood. Let me be the kind of mother that knows the right thing to say, the right way to comfort, and the right way to support my kids. Help me, help them to reach their goals.

* my wifely duties. Help me get dinner on the table, take care of my husband, and praise what he's doing.

* keeping up the house. It's never going to look like Southern Living was here, but please just help it stay clean and orderly.

* all my side projects, from alumni day and book fair, to tower day and saving French Majors... I took on more than I can give my best attention to, so Lord I need you to direct me in the most time-efficient, greatest-impact kind of way.

from Lookingtowardshome.com

* with Les Amis Francophones. Help us grow our organization and win people over to bilingual communication. (and PS please improve the heck out of my French).

     I know that's a lot to ask for (especially since I'm the one getting myself in trouble as usual...) but I really want to be your steward most of all. Everything I do is some attempt to find the kind of peace you offer. So help me do more than just find peace... help me change the world in a way that others find the kind of peace and hope I've always searched for.