Nesting... it's not just for pregnancy anymore

a momsavang original. Sorry it kind of sucks.

     When I was pregnant with both of my girls, I hit the seven month mark with this awful realization that EVERYTHING was about to change. I panicked, and each time I became a worried mess: "I'm signing up for college courses; this is my last chance for free time! I'm going to start running; I have to be healthy! I'm going to clean the house, paint rooms, re-organize the closets, put my books in alphabetical order! If I'm going to learn to crotchet I'd better do it NOW!

Needless to say, not all that happened, but what I DID do, was clean a LOT... bake a LOT... and do my best to be organized for the upcoming life changes.

I've found that same nesting instinct occurs after duress. I can't complain about my hardships because they're nearly all self-inflicted. After completing two intense semesters, it got pretty bad around here. I wasn't able to keep up with the house. We ate out a LOT, even when we had food, just because I didn't have time to thaw and cook things (or we didn't have fresh veggies, or some important ingredient... or I was too tired to think up a stupid recipe). We stopped walking in the last 3 weeks of school (though I don't know how much of that was sort of a rejection of habit because we lost Buddy and Buddy used to love walks). We all  kind of ground to a halt.

So what I noticed when my semester was over, and my 2 weeks of meetings and book fair, etc was over - when I finally had free time -was that I went straight to nesting mode. I shopped like crazy. I cleaned, even when I was sick. I started prepping massive amounts of food, enough to put away for future meals. I poured my attention on my family (as if they were neglected plants that needed re-potting). I started just throwing things away instead of worrying about recycling. (and that's fairly unusual for me... but it was a rejection of JUNK!). I started pulling stuff for yard sales, removing clothes that don't fit, got hubby and the kids in the mood to do the same. We are having a housekeeping exorcism!

from d.umn.edu

It's sort of an interesting study in instinct, I think. Of course I'm a believer in a "naturalist" philosophy - that men are hunters, and females are gatherers. This isn't a 100% accurate assessment, but I believe that in a majority of cases part of the fight or flight recovery is a return to these basic survival instincts. For a mom this translates to: "I must stock up and prepare for another hard time so that I can manage even better when it becomes hard again. I cannot enter future hardship with no supplies!" (So instead of a hard winter, we're preparing for the next cycle of modern insanity).

I'm wondering if I've noticed the same in my husband. After a hardship he always seems a bit cockier (don't tell him I said that ;-)  ). He becomes more willing to pursue leads, interests, etc. Maybe this a hunter response?

Whether or not I'm right, there is something refreshing and healing about returning to those basic instincts. I have sort of detached myself from my computer; well, as much as I can... I'm still sort of attached, but don't spend quite as much time in one sitting, nor check as frequently... or CARE to check as frequently. I don't have a hunger for perfection right now. What I want is the peace of rebuilding: setting my foundation in cleanliness, a well stocked kitchen, time with the family, and a little dirty work in my garden.

I believe we can think ourselves to death and the remedy for this is physical labor. So what do you think? Are our natures dependent on ancient instincts telling us to hunt and gather to feel secure, and feel better after stressful times?

For now, I'm still nesting. I see this pause as an opportunity to do EVERYTHING before things change again, I'm just thankful I don't have any pregnancy hormones to deal with!