I can't believe I want to do NOTHING. This isn't speaking ill of any experience I've had this year but I'm just damn exhausted! More so than any other year so far since I've been back at school. There hasn't been a single month that I've not been in school this semester and it's definitely taken it's toll.
Compounding the problem is it seems like my family has moved in right on top of me. There's constant noise. The TV over youtube videos, over screeches, dog barking, and appliances. It claws it's way over the ear buds I HAD to buy to drown out the Christmas music at my internship (also very little success... I've learned there's only so much ear buds can actually do for you, unless you're willing to go deaf).
Anyway this makes it all very difficult to focus on one thing, or even work on what I want (like any of these blogs I'm trying to write). When I'm not able to focus I get lazy. I wander listlessly from room to room. Start stuff I don't finish. Sigh at the dishes. Pout at the wash. I'm fairly useless except for spurts of energy here and there.
I'd really like very much to do nothing. Wouldn't it be nice to lay on the couch and watch TV all day? Or just read for hours without being disturbed? Unfortunately that's never an option when you have a family, so I'm in this argument with myself. As a family member noted doing nothing is "not in my nature." The more I want to cop out and do nothing, the more I try to motivate myself, and really it's just making me more tired.
For now, I'll just have to deal with it. All things ebb and flow with time.
No comments:
Post a Comment