For the last several months the theme song to my life is Keep On Running by the Dance Hall Crashers (sorry I can't find any other link for that song than my spotify account). I NEVER thought I'd ever get this busy.
Hypocrisy kind of sneaks up on you, and it's fine I've learned to accept it since that is the part of the challenge of life. I've had to eat out so many times in the last month, that I can't count the times I've made dinner (shoot, I'm having a hard time counting the times I've been able to breathe) and that is so counter to the ideals I had just a few short years ago. I recognize this is a short stint into the "real world" and I've already learned a lot:
1) I've learned my kids have way more homework than I thought. This wouldn't be a problem if I abandoned them to their own devices, but I have this ridiculous belief that I should also teach them... so challenges become learning opportunities; failed math drills become the chance to think a new way.
And don't get me started on Pre-K... I completely forgot how much work there was for these little kiddos. We're learning D'Nealian letters, writing our numbers, learning addresses, practicing EVERYWHERE. I'm super proud of my baby who is already reading 5+ letter words, but she really doesn't like homework so getting her to do her work correctly the first time adds an extra burden. We've already had to 'redo' homework she put a hole in.
I'm going to make a quick note now, having read the brief for that Tiger Mother book & backlash, I'm not an overbearing dictator of schoolwork. I give my children choices, but I also know what they are capable of. I don't pressure them to be perfect in the first place, but to correct mistakes if they make them (missing half your timed math test is something you NEED to improve; Pre-K'ers attitude towards homework NEEDS to improve)... so with that being said....
We've been working at home A LOT, leaving me with very little time to get around to my own homework much less any other extracurriculars (like blogging or having coffee, etc.). We've even been missing some of my eldest's karate lessons and those kickboxing lessons I was so excited about... let's just say we haven't seen the mat outside of my daughter's class.
2) I've learned, I am NOT ready for work. The biggest thing my internship has taught me in the last 3 weeks is that I am not ready for a job. That statement is not going to affect my work performance (because I'm a perfectionist loyal to my responsibilities), but there's no way in heck I'm getting a job anytime soon, not until life calms down with the kids and their activities. I want to be there for them. Right now, I'm there for the maintenance but not really THERE for them. That makes me very sad.... but I only need to make it to December.
3) I knew learning a foreign language was hard, but trying to master one seems harder. I'm finally at the level that I can read for the most part in french without using my dictionary so much... but my grammar sucks and I just can't seem to get a handle on it. Maybe if I had more time to practice or read it would improve. As much as I know for 100% truth that my teachers activities are improving my writing and grammar, it's SO much work I'm barely getting it done on time. Still if you want to learn to write in french... you have to write in french, every day.
4) I've learned I love my husband, and I miss him. Underneath all this chaos I'm juggling I barely get to see him. He's working longer days and I'm barely here mentally, if I'm actually here. I notice when he tells me he's proud, I think he knows this isn't for too long also... but it's still hard.
5) I've learned I LOVE a day off, and I've learned the difference between Thursday and Saturday! See, before they all just blended together without parameters. A day of school work and activities on Thursday was the same as schoolwork and activities on Saturday, now I vie for the weekend and that 4 day weekend I just had was a bliss I haven't experienced in 15 years! I can't wait until Friday.
6) I've learned I can't stand John Tesh. He does NOT make my workday better and I'd prefer it if Katy Perry and condom commercials weren't played during my 'at work radio hour.' enough said.
7) I've learned... I haven't learned squat. As difficult as this is and I'd love to promise myself that I'm not ever going to take on this workload again... well that's crap. I work myself up a new level each time. Pretty soon I'll be griping about running the city, I'll get the same praises and criticisms and move on to something else.
...or, it will kill me.
eh, we'll have to wait and see what happens with that one. For now, I'm really enjoying what I'm learning at the Intern's Cubicle (which may be under threat of re-location... more on that another day) and feel like I'm making a difference. Until next time - which might be December - :) go do your own dang homework, I still have some of my own left to do.
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